Behind this mask
by XsAiReL
Summary: Emma has changed after the break up with sean. She really couldnt help it. She and Chris broke up also and Sean and Ellie are going great. Emma runs through alot of probems and Sean comeback in the process- really bad at summaries sorry
1. Putting it all in the past

Ellie and Sean pulled away from a kiss. Sean looked into ellies eyes.

"you know i love it when you kiss me" ellie said with a smile.

"well you know... i am a good kisser" sean said in a cocky tone. Ellie giggled and Punched him lightly and jokingly at his arm.

"Dream on" she said the way she said in "take on me"

"You know i love it when you say that" sean said in an attractive tone. She kissed him and he pulled her down in a lying down position.

It was a new year. The degrassi halls were busy with students rushing to their first period class. Emma and Manny walked slow talking. Emma has changed, she wasnt who she used to be. She dyed her hair black and wore long black long sleeve shirts and tight jeans. They werent too tight but they had a raggy look to them.

"Em, whats with the change" manny said concerned

"The new me... I am not who i used to me im the new Emma" she said with enthusiasim

"yeah... ive noticed" she said confused. "so whats witht he break up with chris" manny added

"Eh... just didnt feel right, ya know?" Emma said without doubt

Down the hall were sean and ellie holding hands. Emmas back was turned to them.

"Whos that new girl with manny?" Ellie asked.

"I dont know" sean responded

They caught up with manny. Sean tapped mannys shoulder.

"whos your new friend" sean asked as they both turned around. He looked into the strangers eyes and knew who it was right away. His jaw dropped.

"Emma?" Sean said shocked

"Sean, thats not emma" Ellie said laughing

"Uh, El it is me" Ellies jaw dropped lower than seans.

"Emma... why did you change" Sean asked

"Im not who i used to be... i mean i was so full life... then i dont know, my life jsut sstarted to suck and it felt like my who life, my spirit, my soul was sucked out of me. Why be someone im not?" Emma responded

"But, you are someone your not... right now... your... different, not Emma" Sean said hesitantly

"Why do you care anyway?" her eyes grew narrow

"I dont know i just, i dont know"

_'good going cameron... just tell her you miss the old emma, the one that made you fall over and over again for her, the one that made you reach to be someone your not, someone better, the one that made your life so much more worth living'_ sean thought.

Emma rolled her eyes and walked on.

"Whats with her?" Ellie said with an attitude.

"What makes her think she can talk to my boyfriend like that" ellie added with a smile, she tried to pull him in for a kiss but sean brushed her off.

"not now ellie" sean walked off

_'whats with everyone today'_ ellie thought. Ellie walked down the empty hall cause the bell rang minutes before.

Sean tried to catch Emma at her locker. He saw a stranger, someone he didnt know, someone that made him miss all that he had but threw it all away in an instant. He walked up to her shyly.

"um, Hey!" Sean said nervously

"uh, hi" emma said lifelessly.

"emma, please tell me why, you changed... i kind of missed the old emma" sean responded nervously

"Uh, if you miss the old emma, why'd you throw her away, jsut admitt it, you dont miss her" she turned to him with anger and slammed her locker and walked away in a fast pace.

Sean continued down the hall and saw ellie turning the corner. He tried ignoring her by going down the way emma was. Thats when he turned the corner and saw her talking to craig. He was shocked to she her with his once before bestfriend. Ever since jay stopped being friends with sean, he started hanging out with craig.

"uh hey guys" sean budded in.

"come one craig lets go" she hooked arms with him

"see ya sean" craig turned around and smiled with a wink and thumbs up.

It was night time. Emma was sitting in her bed with her composition book.

_The sorrow, the despair_

_You broke my heart_

_You act like it was fair_

_I want you back_

_but i couldnt go and repeat it again_

_So we play this game and you pretend your just a friend_

_The masked emotions of our true feelings_

_Hiding it by using other people as covering what we really feel_

_its all i could do, i cant have you break my heart and shatter it like glass_

_over and over-_

"god this sucks" emma ripped the page out and threw it near the trash can. It was what she really felt but she couldnt get it just right on paper.Emma pulled up her sleeve and took her sissor and ripped another scar into her body. The sissor went hard through her flesh an the blood started to drip.

"THIS IS FOR BREAKING MY HEART" she yelled in the process

" THIS IS FOR ACTING LIKE NOTHING EVER HAPPENED" she tore another one into her skin.

She couldnt help but do this. She couldt tell sean what she really felt so she took it out on her self.


	2. The Tears From My eyes

At the next day at school Emma looked like crap. Sean stood in the distance and watched her, she was beautiful, no matter how different, tired looking and changed she was.

"Hey babe" Ellie snuck up behind sean. Sean jumped  
"Hey i was thinking we could go to my place and uh... have some fun" Ellie added  
"Um... I cant El, sorry" Sean replyed sean never turned down an offer like that. Ellie knew something was up.  
"Oh." Ellie walked away disappointed and confused. She watch sean study emma.  
  
After minutes sean walked up to emma.  
"You just dont know when to stop do you Sean?" Emma said.  
"I just wanted to make things cool between us."  
"Cool sean.. Cool? is that what you want. Pretending nothing happened, i see how it is. Well its just not going to work out that easily"  
"Emma i am soo sorry" He never sounded more sincere  
Emmas shook her head and looked up  
"ive got to meet up with craig, uh bye" She walked off.Ellie was angered that sean kept going to emma and ignoring ellie. Ellie knew that sean fell hard and so did emma in their last break up. Sean told ellie that was all in the past, she couldnt believe what she was seeing.  
"Sean do you want emma." Ellie said seriously to sean after she walked up to him.  
"No babe, i want you" Sean said reassuringly  
"Then act like it. You keep ignoring me and everytime i turn around your on Emma's Back, You have feelings for her"  
" I loved her, of course i do, its not that easy to let go-" he said while wraping his arms around her.  
"Oh, so i guess you dont love me strong enough to let her go... i guess im just some rebound" She said pushing him away  
"El! I didnt say that!" Sean yelled while she was running away.

Emma loves Sean so much, shes trying to let him go. She met up with craig, she started to grow feelings for him. Craig liked her changed, he liked her style and liked her attitude. Emma has been meetin up with craig... She needed someone to talk to about her problems. She thought she could trust him.

"Hey Em!" Craig said happily  
"Hey Craig." Emma responded  
"So whats up today" Emma pulled up her sleeve and revealed her two new scars.

Sean saw them talked and turned around and hid himself to evesdrop. He couldnt believe waht he saw teh two scars. Emma, the girl he once loved, the girl that was always so happy, has been cutting herself. He started to listen tot he conversation.

"Why these two today?" Craig acted like nothing was new  
"Um... i needed to get back to _him _and i only could do it by taking it out on myself."

Sean decided he had to interfere.

"Emma! How could you do that to yourself! Who did you need to get back at?" Emma quickly pulled down her sleeve and got so angry you could see fire in her eyes.  
"Sean Whats Wrong With YOU? What are you doing here? You are so dumb, You thats who! You i feel the need to get back at you. Now heres my chance to say what ive been wanting to say for the past 2 years. Sean I hate you! You Act like You didnt do anything to me, you ripped out my heart and shattered it, you sucked the life out of me, you made me into who i am now" She started to cry.  
"Emma its ok" Craig tried to help.

Sean was speechless he didnt know what to say. Emma was relieve she got out what she has been wanting to say. She ran away in embarassment, sadness and fear. Craig looked up at sean.

"Good going man"

Sean felt so guilty.


	3. Rebounded

Emma stood infront of the door. Her mascara was running, she wasnt used to wearing makeup. She cautiously knocked on the door, she was playing with her un-natural black hair, twirling it in her fingers. Sean opened the door surprised to see emma. He was still sad for what he did to her.

"Em..." He whispered

"I just came to apologize"

"For what?"

"You don't deserve to be yelled at"

"Yes i do!"

'No I am sorry, we should just put this all behind us"

"No Em! Your Right. I broke your heart, after being selfish and acted like nothing happened. Worst of all... i hurt you physically also. I Made you change and... look at this" He pulled up her sleeve slowly. He touched the scars gentally.

"I thought if i changed who i was, i would change the feeling i have and make them different. Maybe-" He interuppted.

"Em when i saw you, you changed into a different person, i missed the old em."

'Yeah now you know how i felt. I Missed the boy that i knew when we sat at our disasterous first date. The one who hated meat, just like me. He went through the garbage for me for no reason, and didnt care that i was an idiot. Not the boy who steals, not the one that ditched me for jerks, the one that ditched me to become someone different" He listened to what she had to say. He looked into her eyes as she told him what she felt.

"I dont hang out with them anymore... jay, yeah they are jerks"

"The boy i knew was mine, not ellies. You didnt want me. You wanted someone else. If you stopped haning out with Jay then what stoped you from coming back to me?"

"I was with jay when i was with ellie too"

"So i wasnt good enough for you" She started to tear.

"No, that wasnt it, i wanted you em, but i couldnt leave ellie for something im not even sure if you wanted."

They were still standing in the doorway, sean wanted to get off the topic.

"Emma come in... your mascaras running."

"I know i look so stupid"

"No, you look beautiful" he walked up to the kitchen sink to get a wet paper towel as she sat down in his couch, the tv was on. He took the paper towel and wiped her mascara gentally as he cupped her face in the other hand. She touched his face. It felt real, something she hasnt felt in a while. She saw _her _sean again. Sean looked into her eyes and emma smiled, a real smile. He has missed that so much he forgot how great it felt to see her really smile. Not pull off one of those fake smiles she manage to sneak in at times. She leaned in closer. He did to, they began to kiss. Emma pulled away.

"I cant let you do this to ellie." he had a dissapointment look on his face_ 'oh yeah ellie' _he thought

"I cant be the other girl, i cant be the girl you used to cheat on your girlfriend with, ya know? Sean, you have to pick one of us, me or her, i wont be mad at you if you pick her, you have to decide whats in your heart... and i can't decide that for you. If you do pick her, we can be friends..." She added _'Ugh friends, it seems so... blah'_ she thought

Sean leaned in to kiss her he pecked her and smiled. She smiled back they started to kiss again.

wXw

It was the next day at school. Emma dyed her hair back to what was close to her natural color. Emma was wearing regualr jeans and a t-shirt she didnt mind showing the scars anymore. Sean had to break it off with Ellie. He was planning to do it after school at the dot.

"So you sure you dont want to be with her" Emma was making sure

"Eh, this is going to be so hard. Im telling her at the dot after school"

"You really dont have to do this, if you really love her"

"No, its best do it now"

They both smiled and walked into MI for homeroom.

"This is Liberty Van Zandt, with an announcement. 10 and 11th graders will be holding a fund raiser to earn money for their field trip. The more money we make, the better the trip! The fundraiser will be a bake sale, please all 10 and 11th graders bring food! It will be this saturday... 3 days from now. Have a great day Degrassi!"

"Ok students, bakesale, lets make it a great one! i hear if you raise over 3k... which is alot remember... you can have a 7 day trip." Mr Simpson said

"3k how is that going to pay for 10 and 11th graders?" Emma asked

"Well not all students parents will let them go, but majority so... the school will pay for the rest i guess, its what Radditch has been saying, its a great deal"

wvXw

Sean was waiting for ellie at the dot. He was extremely nervous. It was only for the best.

"Sean?" Ellie surprised him. He looked behind him.

"Whats wrong?" she asked.

"Uh El."

"Sean... i think we should break up"

"What? Thats why i asked you here."

"I mean you and Emma... i will hate her... but it seems too right. i know the way you look at her"

"Are you sure your ok with this?"

"Yeah, me and em wont be on great terms... i mean she did take my man. but i just want you to be happy, i know we werent as strong as you and emma were"

"Ellie, you know i love you right"

"Yeah, of course i do, i love you too sean, this is for the best" At this point she as sitting down holding his hand with both of hers. Sean was surprised she was thinking of breaking up also. She got up and kissed his cheek and walked away.

"bye el..." he whispered.

wXw

The phone rang in the nelsons residence.

Emma picked up

'hello?"

"Hey em"

"Hey sean, how did it go?"

"Good, she was very understanding"

he explained what happened

"Break ups are hard sean, its hard not to be sad, do you want me to come over?"

"Yeah that would be great"

She got to the door and knocked on it. Sean opened the door and let her in.

"Hey babe"

"You sure your ok sean? you did love her right?"

"Yeah i did. Its ok i got you!" He smiled and began to kiss her. _'he truly was happy' _

she kissed back. he led onto her back and started kissing her neck. She pulled off his wifebeater and he put his wrapped his hands on her bare stomach.

"wait sean. your not over ellie... and i dont want _this_ to be the rebound"

"Your right Emma, id be just using you... im sorry"

"No dont be"

He stood back on his knees. and sat down on the corner of the couch. Emma sat next to him with her arms around him and her head on his topless chest and he wrapped his arms around her.

"I love you emma."

"I love you too sean"

To Be continued... 


End file.
